Posts filed under: Blog

Losing a Loved One to Suicide

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. I remember the very last time I saw by former college boyfriend, standing outside Jose Muldoon’s restaurant on Tejon Street in Colorado Springs. We had met for drinks......
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Do as I Do: One Therapist’s Journey to Self-Care

By Kirk S. Johnson, M.A., LPC, LAC, NCC Do as I say, not as I do. Therapists are human and we struggle with a lot of the same things our clients come to us with. Do as I say, not......
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Marriage Counseling Q&A: Can I Stop Being Codependent and Stay in My Relationship?

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC A reader recently asked if it is possible to stop being codependent in a relationship, and how one would go about that. Yes, it is possible. Not necessarily easy, but possible. First of all, how......
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Counseling…It’s the New Black

By Laura J. Pentoney, MA, LPC I decided to borrow from the world of fashion to write about the growing popularity of counseling. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the title term, “it’s the new black”refers to the......
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Mating and Dating: Will Love Keep Us Together?

by Aleisha Maunu, MA, LMFT, CACII When I was in college, I was friends with a fellow music major who was dating another music major. They seemed so very much in love – they spent tons of time together, had......
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What I Learned about Time in the Public Restroom

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC I was recently, this morning in fact, sitting in the restroom of a local hipster vegetarian restaurant having breakfast with a colleague. Whilst I was a-perch, so to speak, I was reading the many clever......
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It’s All About Me: Narcissists and Their Relationships

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC Years ago I had this friend. We both lived in a relatively small town on the east coast, were the same age, and had mutual friends. It was convenient for us to hang out together......
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Past, Present, and Future: Mindfulness and Managing Anxiety

by Aleisha Maunu, MA, LMFT, CACII Anxiety, the feeling of tension, worry, nervousness (usually about an upcoming event or an unknown outcome), is something that most people will experience at various points throughout their lives. Especially in the society in......
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The Enmeshed Family: What It Is and How to “Unmesh”

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC It’s a word most of us have heard before, often when describing families that are extremely close and tightly wound. But what does it mean? Aren’t families supposed to be close? Aren’t we supposed to......
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Plea to Parents: Do Just this One Thing

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC It happened again. I say again because it seems like I can’t make a trip to the grocery store or walk in a park or sit in a restaurant without it happening. This time my......
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Phobias: When Specific Fears Control You

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC Airplanes. Flight. Flying. Those are just a few of the words that for a good chunk of my life would have sent my heart rate soaring just upon hearing or seeing them. In fact, the......
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Three Words That Kill Relationships: Hint — It’s Not “I Love You”

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC As a couple and family therapist, I have lost count of the times I have heard three little words spoken in my office that have a hugely negative effect on relationships. It’s something we have......
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High Anxiety: Three Simple Ways to Calm Your Nerves

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC Anxiety is by far the most common mental health condition, affecting over 90% of the population of the United States at one time or another in our lifetimes. Anxiety can span from a mild case......
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Marriage Counseling Q & A: My Spouse is a Control Freak — What Should I Do?

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC The phrase “control freak” can mean a lot of things in relationships. It might mean that a partner has a particular way that they prefer the laundry folded or a certain way of handling finances.......
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Complicated Grief: When the Pain of Loss Won’t Subside

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC The death of a loved one is invariably among the most painful experiences we endure as humans. The absence of a loved one from our earthly lives forever, whether sudden and unexpected or anticipated through......
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Be as the Water

by Cody Wiggs, M.A. Let’s keep this simple shall we? The Law of Parsimony, as borrowed from scientific theory (think Occam’s Razor), states that the simplest explanation is usually the best. From distinguishing evolutionary pathways to analyzing complex statistics, we......
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Forgiveness: It’s Not About the Other Guy

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC I learned something really important one day while I was helping my mother die. By ‘helping’ I actually mean ‘sitting by her side’ because essentially she had the whole thing pretty well handled herself; I......
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Ever Rue the Day…

by Claudia Gray, MA, LPC You were so humiliated you were speechless? …so angry you lost it with your boss? …so embarrassed you left without saying good-bye? OMG, me too and afterwards I feel really bad and have been known......
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Marriage Counseling Q&A: My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful, Can Counseling Save Our Marriage?

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC The short answer is “No.” Only you two can save your marriage, but counseling can help if there is commitment to change on both sides. Few experiences in life are as painful as finding out......
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Unfulfilled Dreams and Pathways to Connection

by Elizabeth Klaers, MSW, LSW When you hear the word “connection,” what comes to mind? As Psychologist Daniel Goleman puts it, human beings are “wired to connect.” Scientific research in the last 10 years has validated this through the language......
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Why is Change So Hard?

by Karen Lenzi, MA, LPC Major change, negative change like the death of a loved one, a divorce, losing a job – those are hard and painful – but they also make sense to us.  Why is positive change so......
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A Few Thoughts About Life: Insights From a (Near) Deathbed

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC A few months ago, I was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance thinking that I was drawing my last few breaths. I had had routine surgery the week before, and had been cautioned,......
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Divorce: Why Children Don’t Believe Us When We Say It’s Not Their Fault

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC So think about it. We sit down with our children to tell them that we have decided to get a divorce. They probably knew it was coming because they have heard the fighting and arguing.......
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Is DEFENSEiveness your best offense?

by Claudia Gray, MA, LPC On many levels, it is a really good thing to know how to defend ourselves. However, too much of a good thing can get in our way and make life harder and less joyful. When......
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Marriage Counseling Q&A: Can I Divorce My Mother-in-Law and Keep My Spouse?

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC It has been asked before; In fact, I might have been one of the ones wanting to know. There are a few things that typically come as a great shock to people when they take......
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3 Signs You Are Ready for Relationship Commitment

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC On second thought, it might be easier to first look at a few signs that you aren’t ready for relationship commitment: When your date comes over for an evening together, you have already set up......
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Can You Hear Me Now?

by Hazel Field Melmed, LCSW We have all heard that communication is a key ingredient for good relationships, yet many of us struggle to express ourselves in the best way possible in order to get what we want or need.......
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On A Personal Note… One Therapist’s Experience of Grief

by Chris Lewis, Ed.S., LPC Very recently, I visited the town in which I did a good part of my growing up. It is the town where I graduated from high school, the town where I lived during half of......
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Marriage Counseling Demystified: How it Works and Why You Shouldn’t Wait Until the Last Minute

by Chris Lewis Ed.S., LPC Couples come to marriage counseling for a variety of reasons; infidelity, lack of intimacy, frequent arguing, having “grown apart,” and more. The one thing that these couples often share, despite what brought them to this......
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Okay, Okay! So I’m Codependent Already! Now Fix It!

by Chris Lewis, EdS, LPC And therein lies the problem. In my practice I have found that many people are able to identify the traits of codependency that haunt and hound their relationships and their lives, but don’t always understand......
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